keep going till you've got nothing left
by spastichoppy
Summary: After heroes pt 2 It's been a month since Janet's death. Everyone is still in shock
1. Chapter 1

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at /works/16064903.

Rating: Not Rated Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings Category: F/M Fandom: Stargate SG-1 Character: Samantha "Sam" Carter, Jack O'Neill Stats: Published: 2018-09-22 Words: 467 Keep going til you've got nothing left

by hopalong1

Summary

After heros pt2...it's been a month since Janet's death but everyone is still in shock

Jack was restless. The team had been declared fit for duty but Hammond had decided they all needed some time to process.  
It was 2am...he was walking the halls because it Beat the alternative of reading reports or worse going home alone and thinking. He neared the gym and pool...bless whoever had the idea to put a pool under Cheyenne mountain. He stopped someone was swimming laps at a rapid almost frantic pase. He pushed the doors open and stopped cold. There moving at breakneck speed was Carter. The blonde head was going so fast and choppy, not like the beautiful, elegant strokes she usually used.  
He approached "CARTER!? " He yelled. She surfaced a little startled her face beat red and panting. " Colonel what are you doing here?"  
"What am I doing here? I think a better question is what are you doing here?" She looked at him for a moment then turned and continued her laps. He stepped back to one of the benches and started counting "...76, 77, 78...oh Fer crying out loud that's just since I've been in here" Something brought him out of his thoughts...the rhythmic noise faltered, as he looked up it stopped.  
"OH GOD!" He ran to the edge and spotted her about midway down not moving...he instinctively dove fully clothed and started for her. She was near the bottom by the time he reached her. Grabbing her around the waist he pushed off the bottom propelling them to the surface. He gasped taking in a deep breath realizing he'd forgotten to do that earlier and saw she wasn't doing the same. Jack quickly moved to the shallows and laid her on the deck. He felt for a pulse.  
He was relieved beyond words that he felt her heart beating, way too fast, but beating. Next he checked her breathing laying his hand on her chest. Thank God he thought when his hand was moved up and down by her breath. He lifted himself out of the water and shuttered in the cold air. Sam started to shiver but was still unconscious.  
He picked her up and wenr into the locker room. Thankfully deserted he turned on the shower. When the water was warm but not hot because that'd shock her he lowered her legs down and held her back to his chest. The spray hit her chest high and soaked thru her like a warm blanket. He watched as she stirred..."Sam?"  
She looked up at him with tears brimming and started sobing uncontrollaby. "She never knew Jack, she never knew she was my best friend..never knew what she meant to me... NEVER KNEW!" She felt a rumble in his chest behind her. "Yes she did" he said and held her tighter.

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	2. Chapter 2

The water was turning cold, Jack snapped it off and grabbed a towel handing it to Sam. When she didn't reach for it he looked at her. So small and broken he thought to himself and for the first time he feared this might be the one that breaks her..."Sam?" He said softly. " I can't move my arms, nothing will work..." She started crying softly he wrapped the towel and his big arms around her and whispered in her ear " your heart works , your mind works, your body will soon too I promise." He lifted her slightly walking towards her locker. He took the towel away and looked at her, she nodded in permission and he reached around and unclipped her suit letting it fall. "Can you stand a moment if you hold onto my shoulders?" She nodded again and he brought her hands up to him. She slid them around his neck and they both glanced at each other again, nothing said no words needed...Jack took the towel and dried off her body then placed it on the bench and helped her down as he pulled away to stand she fell a tender kiss on her forehead.

As he collected her clothes he knew he had to ask. "Sam, where you trying to...? NO no I swear no...I wanted toforget the pain for just a little while." He understood this, after Iraq he practically made a trench in his favourite running path. Then he had a terrible thought..."how long were you in there ?" Again she was studying the tile floor then a whisper "midnight" He looked at her in shock "MIDNIGHT? AT THAT PACE? WHAT IF YOUD BLACKED OUT EARLIER? WHAT IF I HAD WALKED A DIFFERENT HALLWAY? WHAT IF..." He stopped, her shoulders were shaking she was quietly sobbing listening to him yell. " Damn it Sam I'm sorry but you scared me to death, if anything happened to you I...she was looking at him now...I couldn't survive it. I know I couldn't." He silently continued to dress her while she absorbed what was just said. He reached for her hair brush " I can do that Jack, go change you're shivering." He hadn't noticed he was too focused on her so he retreated the few steps to his locker stopping at the base phone and making 3 short calls when he was out of her view. Suddenly he heard "OH MY GOD" in almost a wail. He slid on water from the shower trying to get to her. "THE CAMERAS she yelled at him THE SECURITY CAMERAS SAW EVERYTHING!" She was close to hyperventilating when he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. " It's ok Sam shh it's ok I promise. Can you hear me? I promise it's been taken care of, it's ok. Slow down Sam breathe with me.." That had been one of his phone calls...the security office.

They stayed like that for several minutes listening to each other's breathing. She had settled just having the occasional shutter. "Let's get outta here huh?" He said into her hair. She nodded and they headed towards the surface.


	3. Chapter 3

This part has mature rating

Jack led her to his truck and she got in without an argument. They rode in silence down and away from the mountain. Sam began to realize they weren't headed towards her house, she looked at Jack. He felt her stare and replied, " I don't feel like being alone tonight, how bout you?" She reached over a gave his hand a small squeeze in agreement but as she tried to pull it away he grabbed hold. Still they said nothing and neither moved away. Jack pulled into their favorite Chinese place not far from his house where the order was ready and waiting...that was his second call. She sat in amazement at how this man could anticipate so much about her. He knew her and she knew him they were exactly what the other needed right now and forever.

They ate in relative silence and had everything cleaned and putaway quickly. "How are you feeling now Sam?" She looked at him " much better Jack thank you" he looked puzzled , "For?" Her smile faded "saving my life, reading my mind, being you..." He pulled her to him hugging her tightly "Sam I completely understand what you were trying to do but please please promise me if you need to do it again come get me. We don't have to talk if you don't want to. I won't even question your reasons for needing it just please don't do that alone again! I can't tell you how much you scared me...I mean all the things that could've happened I don't know if I ...if I could..." She felt him shudder and felt wetness against her cheek. "I'm sorry Jack, I'm so sorry, please..." She didn't get the rest of her thought out he pulled back and framed her face with his hands and locked his lips on hers.

The need for oxygen forced them apart but the time wasn't wasted. Jack grabbed her under her butt and picked her up off the floor room still staring into her eyes. Sam returned the stare wrapping her legs around his waist and started unbuttoning his shirt. Another kiss ensued and it was the most passionate one either of them had ever experienced. He explored her mouth, she explored his both started breathing thru their noses to avoid separating.

They finally gave in and broke apart. "Are you sure?" She nodded before he finished the question. He smiled at that and reached to the button on her jeans. He pulled down her jeans and panties then knelt to remove her shoes. When he stood he gasp to himself, she had removed her top and bra and stood naked before him. He was awestruck ... "My god Sam, you are so beautiful .." Sam smiled that time stopping smile she'd never had anyone react to her that way. "I want to see you, I need to feel you now please Jack I need you." She reached for his belt and button fly and she gasped herself when she saw he had gone commando! She heard him chuckle " I ran out of clean boxers on base, wasn't expecting to go swimming in my last pair." She smiled and laid back on his bed waiting for him. He moved to her side but she stopped him "no, on top. I want you on top of me" "I'm too heavy ill hurt you", " you won't I need you to please" He complied nestling himself between her thighs and burying his face in her next shuttering at just the feel of her naked body touching his.

His lip met hers for another mind blowing kiss while his hand moved lower to check her readiness...he knew he was big and wasn't about to risk hurting her. To his surprise she was soaked he spent a few moments spreading her wetness around til she moanedand broke the kiss "Jack please I need you please!" He guided himself to her and inserted just the head into her small opening. She took in a deep breath and grabbed his shoulders tighter. He looked at her concerned...it's ok don't stop it's just been a long time." He nodded and with her reassurance thrust his length into her. Sam arched off the bed trying to adjust to him panting and moaning. When she laid back she pulled him with into and shoved her tongue in his mouth for a passionate kiss. He started moving slow to be sure but she began kissing him more furiously and moving her hips against his so he sped up. She met him thrust for thrust but when she tried to pull out of the kiss he held her head to his securely because that was a major turn on to be making love with tongue and body. Before long she started moaning and took in a deep breath then screamed into his mouth. He never stopped moving swallowing her scream he didn't wait for her to come down he thrust hard using all the leverage he could exploding inside her so deeply that it took her by surprise it caused her to climax again.

Suddenly Sam was in darkness... again suddenly there was no air... again. Jack was halfway out of his post orgasmic stupor when he realized she wasn't moving...his mind flashed back to the pool. "Sam baby?" No response he checked pulse and breathing... deja vu he thought. "Baby you're ok cmon back to me" , still nothing " baby gimme something here, do I have to make it an order?" Her lips moved slightly and he got closer to her "no sir.. " she said softly. He pulled back and saw a small smile to which he smirked himself. "Where'd you go?" He asked "um not sure but can we go back?" She really was going to kill him he thought. Before he could respond her cell rang.

It's the SGC, she said and went for it. He grabbed a pair of boxers and headed for the bathroom gringing to himself. His 3rd call from the locker room was leaving orders for her not to be distributed unless the General himself deemed it a true emergency. Suddenly he heard "WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Jack almost flew to the bedroom where she sat staring blankly at the wall, the phone on the floor where it had landed. "Sam? Sam look at me. " She turned as if in a daze and stared at him. "My dad Is in the infirmary...Lam doesn't think he's going to survive the night."


	4. Chapter 4

5: worse

Summary:

Her life was crashing down...can he stop it?

I don't own anything purely fanfic Chapter Text

They dressed quickly and silently and headed towards the mountain. Sam stared blankly out the window Jack placed his hand in hers. Still they rode wordlessly thru the checkpoints thru the guards and to the elevator.  
They exchanged a look that's all that was needed a look said everything. His said I'm here always, hers I know I love you.

Jack walked her to the infirmary, "I'll give you some time... call if you need me I mean it" She nodded and he was off he had another call to make. She went to Jacobs bedside he looked awful weak and frail. "Dad?" She whispered "Hey kiddo..." He looked at her "I'm so sorry Sam so sorry" She couldn't stop her tears "dad why didn't you say something, do something you let yourself slip away now...now I'm alone here dad why didn't you say something?" He let her yell he deserved it he knew this had been coming and she's right he didn't say anything. When she had calmed he said "you are not alone, go after what you want, don't let rules stand in your way of happiness... please Sam promise me you'll go after what you want. His breathing slowed and eyes closed the meds they gave him were working. She sat there in shock. Was he telling her to go after Jack ?  
"General O'Neill for President Hayes please" Jack said in the most official voice he could muster. While waiting he noticed a envelope on his desk in a familiar handwriting... Jacobs. Oh boy he thought and ripped it open. " General standby for the president" the voice startled jack and Jacobs letter dropped to the floor. Hayes came the official voice " Mr President sir sorry to disturb you but I have a matter I need to discuss." No problem always time for you Jack. " Well sir as you know we've all had quite a difficult time here lately and in particular Col Carter in fact shes in the infirmary now with her father he isn't doing well...I'm aware Jack ...OK the thing is sir I feel it's my place to be there for her sir and I can't do that with rules being what they are so sir I'm officially informing you of my intent to retire sir I just can't justify choosing a job over my life or hers. We've given 10 years here sir haven't we sacrificed enough of ourselves sir?  
There was silence on the other end of the line. Jack you haven't talked to Gen Hammond or Gen Carter have you? "No sir why may I ask" This morning when Jacob fell ill he talked with George about you and Col Carter...Jack swallowed hard... George then talked to me . I agreed with his assessment. "Which was sir?" That both of you do deserve a break so this is what I'm prepared to do... The fraternization policy is hereby suspended for the SGC due to the extremely sensitive and confidential nature of the work there. However this is temporary to test it out I don't want to start receiving reports of inappropriate behavior from the mountain is that understood? "Absolutely sir!" Good Jack take care of her and yourself and um I better get a invitation... click Jack stood there speechless until a knock came from outside. "Come" the door opened and Walter entered looking uncharacteristically serious. Jacks heart fell..."Sam" he said softly shaking his head. Thanks Walter I'll be in the infirmary.."sir Col Carter isnt there." WHAT? WHERE IS SHE? "They don't know sir, the staff said she ran out they..." Jack took off he had a pretty good idea where she went. He had taken her car keys earlier so she was still here. He headed towards the pool using the stairs instead of elevator because he wasn't sure of when all this happened. He ran he didn't care who saw or what was said he ran.  
He ran through the locker room out to the pool and there she was a almost mirror image of yesterday except her moves were slower almost confused not the strong determination to block everything of before. This was like she was doing it because she honestly didn't know what else to do. It was almost like she'd forgotten how to swim and was literally floundering. "Oh Sam " he said, his heart absolutely breaking for her. He pulled his cell and called Daniel telling him to go up too to his truck and Carter's car and get the overnight bags they kept there. It was a practice they all started early on when trouble started finding them. He asked Daniel if he knew what had happened. "yes Jack, meet you at the pool right?" Jack smiled "yep" they knew each other too well.  
Jack emptied his pockets this time and headed towards the deep end where she was at the moment. He didn't bother calling out he just jumped and easily caught up to her. Definitely not normal he thought. He grabbed under her arms and guided her to the shallows. As soon as he could touch he surfaced and flipped her. "Sam? Can you hear me?" "SAM!" Her eyes snapped to his and she started failing wildly. He held her above the surface and let her scream hit the water, hit him anything just to get it out. Finally she stilled and started sobbing loudly he couldn't get thru to her, this had been it, she had broken. He held her tightly as she cried trying to think of what to do. "Jack!"' Daniel yelled from the doorway he, Tealc and George Hammond stood there speechless. " Lock the doors, turn cam.." " already done Jack Hammond said. Jack nodded. Sam's sobs increased she wasn't getting enough air. " SHIT" Jack yelled he covered her nose and mouth and dove under with her. She struggled briefly not realizing what was happening then her eyes popped open suddenly looking at him. They were near the bottom by now and she grabbed the hand over her face telling him she understood not to breathe he pulled her close and gave her a breath she nodded and they slowly headed for the surface. She broke first coughing and gasping he soon followed and grabbed her with one hand treaded water with the other. Sam stared blankly at him. "You OK Sam?" He asked. "Jack? What am I doing in here?" He just said "it's OK you're OK we're here and we're gonna help. Do you trust me? Of course... "Good, I know you're confused just stay with me ok?" She nodded fighting back tears. He pulled her to him "its ok baby, I've got you. You're safe always" He kissed her lightly and headed towards the others.

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	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 6: getting back

Summary:

Can they move on?

I own nothing purely fanfic Chapter Text

She dressed herself while Daniel waited in the adjoining shower room to be near if she needed but to give her privacy. Jack quickly stripped and dressed he was almost finished when Hammond entered. " A minute please son" Jack glanced up and took a seat his head rested in his hands.

"What do I do sir? How do I help her please tell me what to do" his voice shook and he hung his head. Hammond sat opposite him and spoke softer than Jack had ever heard. "Hold together son she needs you, she needs all of SG1 but she NEEDS you" his emphasis on needs made him look at his mentor the man who heped clear the way for their hearts...the man that he knew he could never repay. George smiled "talked to Hayes did you?" Jack nodded with a smirk of his own. "The details can wait Jack you know what you need to... take her away Jack out of here away from all this. Thats the other part of why I'm here the President agreed to giving me hiatus to come back and run the mountain all of SG1 is on indefinite downtime. Leave all contact devices here all I ask is you tell me and me alone where you will be..."Minnesota sir" Jack instantly said. "um sir this doesn't nearly cover anything but thank you and it is my deep honor to consider you a friend." The feeling is mutual Jack... Now Tealc and Daniel have been told of the situation all of you go take her away and get her back... Jack opened the door to Daniel and a rather dazed Sam. "Tealc went to our places I told him to throw clothes in a bag. He should be back...",I have arrived Daniel Jackson" ...soon Daniel finished with a grin. O'Neil's gas tank is full and there is a bag for each of us..Jack looked at his time "well then shall we?" He went and stood in front of Sam. "Hey you still trust me right? She nodded Ok hold on for me ok? Everything will be explained i promise but right now it's important we get out of here do you hear me? Yes she said she sounded so frail and lost and he didn't like it at all. In time he said to himself in time. They stopped in front of jacks truck. "Danny, T how bout you two get in front and handle the driving huh?" Tealc got behind the wheel Daniel was shotgun and Jack helped Sam into the back. He really had no idea what she remembered or had been told and couldn't really imagine how confused she must be but now wasn't the time so he put his arm around her and squeezed gently she laid her head on his shoulder and the tears started rolling. "Dad..." She whispered as they drove away. They drove thru the night not really talking much. Sam had fallen asleep at about the midway point and Jack laid her in his lap. Daniel leaned over the passenger seat "so Jack the President really?! "Yeah Danny he did" " Despite the circumstances I'm happy for you two " "indeed" Tealc chimed in. "Happy for what?" Sam! They all said "how are you?" She thought a minute "sore..." That makes sense Jack said you've done 2 Olympic sized workouts in 24 hrs. She looked at him as if remembering but was also puzzled he leaned closer and whispered "and a even more strenuous but much more fun one in between" he pulled back looking at her and saw her remember, a small smile on her face. Jacks heart did a flip in his chest oh yeah she's coming back alright... 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 7: break down to build up

Summary:

Healing begins...  
I don't own anything purely fanfic Chapter Text

They arrived at the cabin late that afternoon everyone but Sam had been there so the sleeping arrangements were easily figured. Jack took Sam's things into his room earning him a puzzled look. "Cmon it's time we has a little talk" she stared for a minute and followed him.

She plopped on the bed and tears fell from her cheeks. "What do you remem... dad's dead" she interrupted. "Yes baby I'm sorry" her head fell and shoulders shook. He was at her side and wrapped her in a hug. "One if his last acts was for you Sam" she pulled back locking eyes with him. "Before he passed Jake, Hammond and Hayes had a little chat about us" her eyes went wide and he was sure if he hadn't been holding on he'd be fishing her out for the 3rd time in 2 days. I"it's ok, it's ok please trust me " she stilled and looked at him her mouth moving but nothing coming out. He smiled " he told Hayes about us and how we feel and how long we have felt this way pointing out that our performance has never reflected such as so on and so on. We can do details later the important part is he suspended the frat regs." She blinked and blinked again eyes and mouth wide open. He smiled, "I'll prove it..and grabbed her hand leading her back to the living room where Daniel and Tealc sit watching tv, he spun in front of them and pulled her close in a mind numbing passionate kiss. The 2 men sat there stunned "well Jack glad to see you're not wasting time" they broke for air "shit! " He muttered then looked at Daniel "she wasn't believing me" Daniel smiled and nodded his head at her Tealc raised an eyebrow and she thought well my team wouldn't lie...that being realized she pulled Jack in for a repeat. Daniel motioned to Tealc and said "right well we'll just go get some supplies won't we?" Indeed.

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	7. Chapter 7

8

Summary:

I don't own anything purely fanfic Chapter Text

He bent and swooped her into his arms and headed for the bedroom. This was different than it was before... earlier the thought of being caught was not far from their minds. Now it was just them. The two of them and how they feel for each other. He deeply wished this moment hadn't happened around Jacobs death but he refused to force her into anything. He took her lead, hr let her take what she wanted, what she needed, anything... anything.  
They broke for air as he laid her gently on the bed. He stepped back "DON'T LEAVE!" She yelled,. He looked at her shocked "I'm not baby I'm not." He laid on top of her for emphasis ' I'm never leaving you, I promise..." He paused and she stilled "are you ok Sam?" She nodded "I'm sorry Jack I'm sorry I don't know what's wrong with me." He grabbed her chin so she looked right at him "nothing is wrong with you, nothing baby. We'll get thru this I'm here and I'm not going anywhere God I swear Sam..." His tears fell and she wiped his cheeks "I love you." He felt her relax under him and he went in for a kiss. A kiss that erased all doubt from both of them a kiss that left them panting, shaking and staring into each other's eyes.

EXPLICIT RATING HERE . Cmere he said and went in for a kiss. And boy what a kiss, the kind that made you forget all your problems which was his intention. Her eyes stayed shut as he journeyed down her body coming to rest between her legs.

"Oh god" he mumbled against her thigh the vibrations of his voice making her flood herself. He lowered his head and licked her entire sex causing her hips to buck into him. Him place his hand on her hip to steady her. He began a sensual assault she couldn't believe he was insistent and maddening for both of them. He moaned and took her clit into his mouth and suckled on it. She screamed, her head thrashing, tears pouring down her cheeks. "JACK OH GOD DON'T STOP DON'T DONT IM GONNA OH JACK...AAAGGGHHH! Though soaking wet he didn't stop and she crashed again. " Jack pleeeaaase she sobbed please I need you inside me. Her breath was hitching as she cried, shaky hands caressed his neck. He surged up her body pinning her down with a mind blowing kiss his tongue making love to hers as he entered her slowly. She gasp and tried to pull away but his hand cradled her head holding her to him. He was big, she started rocking her hips on him to get her muscles to accommodate him. She deepened the kiss crushing him to her and moaning breathlessly into his mouth. He was halfway in and gave 1 sharp thrust she screamed into his mouth and held him tighter. Even though they had done this before this was different. The first time she was distracted, consumed by recent events. This was different, yes all those problems were still there plus a few new ones but THEY were free, THEY didn't have to hide and it showed in their passionate, feverish, erotic love making.

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	8. Chapter 8

Summary:

I don't own anything purelyfanfi

MATURE RATINGG

Still holding his mouth to hers she thrust up and locked her ankles tightly behind him. He moaned and thrust back. Then he wrapped hs arms around her and pulled his knees under him. Suddenly he sat back on his knees still attached to her. He pulled her with him and she found herself on his lap.  
She screamed and sobbed at the sudden, delicious change in angle deepening the kiss again. She held him tight and started grinding her hips. He growled and grabbed her hips thrusting powerfully without stopping. She finally broke the kiss and threw her head back as she felt her climax building. "Look at me baby, look at me."  
She slowly moved her head up to lock her eyes with his.  
"Oh I'm coming Sam, come with me! Come wi...OH MY GGOODD AAGGHH SAM!" He was still filling her when she screamed and flooded him. They both saw the stars and the flashing lights. Her grabbed her in his arms crushing her in a tight embrace then falling on their sides.  
He jerked awake first still in her arms. His lungs felt like he'd been breathing shallow. Sam stirred and woke. "Did we pass out?" He chuckled "I think so, damn woman that was unbelievable."  
She giggled and kissed him sweetly and tenderly on the lips. "Words aren't enough jack and I wish I knew the perfect one but...I love you so much." Small tears slide down her cheeks. He framed her face "I love you more Samantha..." He nuzzled his face into her shoulder and his silent tears ran down his face.


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